STARN: Scots Teaching and Resource Network
Jobs fer the chaps
© - Stuart McHardy, Perthshire Advertiser, 4th February 1997
Whit grand news eh? The government, in whit passes fer wisdom amang them, hae pit forrit the notion o a new Royal Yacht at the same time as flaggin up the idea o expandin cadet forces in oor schuils. Nou, A micht be wrang here bit are the Windsors, as they cry theirsels these days, no amang the super-rich? They're shairly no short o a bob or twa an in times whan this self-same government keeps tellin us there's nae mair money fer eddication, social services, the NHS etc. suid we no be askin Her Majesty tae pey fer her ain new boatie? Efter aa naebody believes that foreign business fowk are sae daft as tae gie orders tae British firms jist because they aince sipped champagne on a floatin royal gin-palace - tho that's whit oor government seems tae want us tae believe. Mind you this daftness pales intae insignificance beside the notion o hirin specialist military personnel tae teach the bairns aa aboot shootin guns - at a time whan maist schuils cannae even afford the books thair bairns need. Even leavin aside the national trauma o Dunblane, this suggestion defies aa reason - niver mind the literacy level Rodney, how weel kin yer pupils fire an reload - an aa this in a time whan the military tell us that nooadays war is a high-tech business, relyin mair upon the computer keyboard an satellite communications than squaddies wi rifles (an much mair expensive!). Sic ideas bear aa the hallmarks o haein been discussed efter denner, ower the second bottle o port, bi a sma group o meenisters an then jottit doun on the back o a cigar packet. It's eethir that or somebody his decidit tae follie the Swiss model an luik tae trainin the haill population tae handle weapons as the people theirsels form the country's defence force! A reckon if that's whit they're suggestin we'll suin be aa richt - the Trident nuclear submarines will be done awa wi, releasin billions o pounds fer eddication an the NHS, there'll be nae mair need o expensive hi-tech military hardware an we'll aa be better aff. Or have A got it aa wrang an this scheme is jist a wey o giein jobs tae retired military officers wha cannae find oniethin tae dae wi theirsels in a shrinkin economy? No sae much jobs fer the boys as jobs fer the chaps.